Update.

Dear Reader.

I went to see my mum today. They'd done the operation and she seemed okay pretty zonked out but apart from that good. She's probably going to be all right. I told my dad that I'd been worried, because I thought he might not be able to spot it.

Sometimes I wish I could be less of a Vulcan (or a robot). I hardly ever cry when I'm sad and worse I don't know what to do when other people are crying and I feel terrible and I feel helpless for that because other people do, and it isn't just a man/woman thing either my dad's job is to be good at that and I can't. Sometimes I'm too cold, too separate. I'm self-aware enough to realise this but not enough to stop myself. I view everything I do in hindsight, and live constantly in regret.